Love What Matters Feature - Uncovering the Childfree Voice After Infertility

‘My (2016) miscarriage crushed me. I screamed and cried in the nursery closet, clenching my son’s wubby so hard my palms bled. I was inconsolable.’




At the ripe old age of 28, I decided becoming a mom was going to be my next big thing, which would have been laughable as an outsider looking in because Mark and I were not those people. We partied too much and worked too many hours and were too self-absorbed with our own little bubble to consider the expansion of family with humans.
Then my grandfather passed and my biological clock ramped up something fierce.
Let’s take it on, we agreed. Although we had both become well-versed in the gamble and trials of expanding our career paths, parenthood was simply unknown and daunting.
For us, it was never a question of how we would be as parents. We both knew the answer was…we would knock it out of the park. Not in a helicopter/perfect parenting way, more in a ‘we’re all in’ way. We were both perfectly capable of teaching and guiding and growing. It was literally the core of our jobs outside of the home, but in vastly different ways. The issue became, HOW were we going to become parents, because knocking boots the old-fashioned way was getting us nowhere.
As many can relate, once something in our reproductive system seems off, we get frustrated, and then we get moving. If you look at it another way, trying to conceive gave us a ‘no’ and we took that information and found a work-around. This cycle kept up for us until we whole-heartedly believed we had exhausted all our work-arounds from the reproductive NO. Mark and I spent six years trying to become parents, but ultimately walked away childless.

Continue reading my featured story over at Love What Matters

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